Surviving a whole Newt world

Rosie Sinapi, Editor in Chief

Day 37 of surviving the Contract with America and I am still here.

For President Bill Clinton, it has been a month of struggle. He is the man who leads our country everyday in politics, but for him, Washington D.C. is lonely without majority support from Congress.

But don’t worry, like a phoenix rising to save us all, the slurs and follies of the new speaker of the House of Representatives has salvaged some of Clinton’s pride. For Clinton it means that there is someone in Washington even more hated than he.

Last November, America voted for a wind of change.

“No more democrats for us!”

Rather than the intelligent, politically correct Clinton regime, America chose Newt Gingrich and Robert Dole. So now instead of those light-hearted liberal Democrats, we now can blame the Republicans for any problems in America.

This is great, finally after 40 years of a Democratic majority in Congress, America gets Republicans.

Geez…let’s just think of our new leaders.

Gingrich replaced Democratic Representative Tom Foley as Speaker of the House in January. Looking more like a caricature of a politician than a politician, Gingrich is quickly tarnishing the Republican’s long awaited comeback.

I am not knocking their Contract with America. I actually like the balanced budget amendment and line-item veto, defense security, tax cuts, social security reform, capital gains cuts, reinforcement of the family, legal reforms, an anti-crime package and term limits.

O.K., so I left out number five, welfare reform due to my crazy belief in helping starving children. Can I help it if I do not like kids being punished for being born to teenage mothers?

Overall, I like the Contract. Embracing the change is not only exciting, but a trend. So as I sat back on Jan. 4 watching the swearing in of Gingrich, I tried to ignore the idiotic statements of the man. For instance, he said a third of the White House staff had smoked pot in college.

Sure, like Warren Christopher lit up in college back in the 1930s. Actually, if White House staffers did smoke out in college, at least they have an excuse for making mistakes due to the killing off of all those brain cells. What is Gingrich’s excuse?

Then he outstretched his arms in a V-like column before his body. As he started to shake his head in victory, visions of Richard Nixon popped in my head, but even Nixon knew when to step down to keep his party afloat.

What has America gotten itself into? Gingrich has already said he wants to get rid of the Public Broadcasting System and increase orphanages as a remedy to welfare. A life without Big Bird and replaced with Boys Town, is it true?

Gingrich is not to blame. Just like great revolutionaries like Napoleon Bonaparte and Adolf Hitler, he believes in nationalism. He wants to move ahead his America.

Likewise, he even came from a teenage mother. So, he really cannot mean everything he says.

No, it is America speaking. We voted for the Republican majority in both houses.

Did all of America want to get rid of “Sesame Street?”

Oh no, that’s right. According to a December Newsweek poll, 47 percent of America has not even heard of the contract. Then again, only 60 percent of eligible voters in Southern California voted in the last election.

Why doesn’t Newtie (as his mother calls him) just start a coup d’etat with Senator Dole as his general?

America will not even notice, unless of course it interrupts the O.J. Simpson trial. But that’s right, Newt does not even want the media in courtrooms.

All I want to know is who voted for these people. I liked my liberal world just as it was. Day 37 and I’m still here, but with over six hundred days until the next election, I hope America makes it.

Rosie Sinapi, Editor in Chief
Rosie Sinapi

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