I am so tired of the stigmas that get attached to me because people believe that there is only one way of doing things. Who are they to think that they know everything about fashion, school, work and most importantly relationships with the opposite sex?
When people first find out that I am involved with Mickey, a man who is a great deal older than me, they instantly begin to question my judgment. The funniest thing about this is that most of these people cannot happily stay in a relationship for any length of time. They look at me in disbelief and once the shock has worn off, the questions start.
I am not the first young woman to be in a relationship such as this, and yet, people treat me as if I am. They ask such questions as: “Why?” “What do your parents think?” “Don’t people look at you funny?” “Wasn’t your father good to you?” “Do you realize when he is 60, you’ll be 37?” “Why not someone your own age?” and “What about kids?”
I understand that some of what stems from these questions is curiosity, yet if only people listened to themselves and used a little common sense, they could answer many questions themselves. For those of you who are unable to answer them, allow me to one last time.
Repeatedly I find myself explaining that I was lucky that such a wonderful man found me and although my parents wish there was less of an age difference, they are more concerned with my happiness and support me in my decisions and actions. If you are wondering if people look at us differently or weirdly, it is no differently than you would and frankly I do not care how other people look at me.
As for my father, he was my best friend growing up. We are very close and nobody could ever take his place. That is not what I wanted. The only way that he has influenced my romantic relationships was to set the standards very high. I never went out looking for a father figure; in fact, I have never been one to seek men out. What attracted me to this man, who I have since fallen in love with, was his charm, intelligence, his ability to make me laugh and feel secure, his good heart, our common interest in drag racing and his honesty. I trust him completely and the thought of losing him hurts too much to consider.
When Mickey is 60 and I am 37, we will still appreciate each other and enjoy each other’s companionship. Age does not matter. When you find someone as wonderful as he, you seize the opportunity to love and be happy.
People are curious as to why I do not date people my own age. I do not because of past experiences. I hate being the mother or baby sitter of someone I am supposedly dating. Most guys my age are interested in only a few things—drinking, partying and sex with no commitment. That is not my idea of a good time. Men my age still act like boys and enjoy living at home and not having a responsibility in the world.
And, as for children, it is not a concern for us. I do not want any.
People say that I am an idealist because I like to give others the benefit of the doubt. I believe that it is possible for positive outcomes to happen when the situation appears to be negative. Often times I end up getting hurt because I am let down by people who let society dictate their lives.
I will not give up on my relationship because society says that there is too much of an age difference. However, I will try to help people understand that when a thing as wonderful as love comes along, it is important to enjoy it to its fullest capacity.
I would be lying if I did not admit that the attitudes we have to deal with daily did not affect our relationship, because they do. We have a very strong relationship, but there are times when we begin to doubt it because of what society says is right. However, our strong support for each other ultimately helps to get us through the times when society and the odds are against us.
