Since my childhood days college has been a goal. College meant that a person is a “grown-up.” They do “grown-up” things and hang out with their “grown-up” friends in a little “grown-up” world.
It was on the verge of high school graduation that the feeling of being on the brink of that “grown-up” world began to occur. A chapter had closed and I was about to move out of my childhood and into my adulthood.
At my graduation party, my mother left a stack of index cards on the counter for all my wise “grown-up” relatives to leave their words of wisdom for me. A way to guide me after I left their protective arms.
My uncle Brian left good advice, “Cop to nothing! Enjoy life, be good, call home once in a while, study hard, sleep once in a while, say what you want, say what you mean, ‘protect yourself,’ enjoy, enjoy, etc. etc.”
I thought that sounded like good “grown-up” advice, especially the part about saying what you mean, so that became one of my primary missions for my college years. I would always say what I mean and be up front with everyone I met. This sounded like the “grown-up” thing to do.
In my two and some years here I have encountered countless people. Interesting people, many of them are great friends who I am thankful for because they say what is on their mind. It is a comfort to know that there are people who can communicate with ease.
They are not afraid of what others may think of their views even if they are not the same. They are not afraid to share what is on their mind. They are their own person.
But in the same two and some years most of my encounters have been with people who are afraid to speak their minds. They have these things they call hang ups.
Hang ups are things I do not understand. We all realize that communication is the key to solid and strong friendships and relationships between people. So why are we going to make things harder than necessary by wasting each others time with meaningless surface level conversation?
La Verne was supposed to be my perfect little “grown-up” college, but I was to slowly be disappointed.
It was probably my stupid preconception of college being a cute little “grown-up” world where people go to do what I thought were “grown-up” things like saying what they mean .
Despite the fact that I hate these hang ups and I have them too, I have learned in my adulthood that to be a “grown-up” one needs to get past false communication and into a more truthful phase of their life.
I am grateful to the people I have met who have always said what they meant. It is hard for some to say what they mean and often times they end up saying what they feel a person wants to hear rather than what they mean, but what is the point of that? This is often without regard to anyone’s feelings, myself not excluded.
We need to consider the repercussions of our actions, because every action has a consequence.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that to be a “grown-up” saying what you mean is essential. Communication truly is the key without it we could not ever advance in our endeavors. And if we cannot advance in our endeavors then how will we ever find our happiness?
We all have to get past our hang-ups and try to have a better level of communication.
Michelle Thornton, a junior journalism major, is features editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at mthornto@ulv.edu.
