A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away … wait a minute, that was my Star Wars lead. I know I had another angle to present my discussion. What was it?
Was I going to make fun of those Star Wars: Episode I fans who waited in line for weeks to get a first look of that new movie? No, even though I was able to see one of the first showings on three hours notice. Was I going to explain how the Los Angeles Lakers are going to dig themselves out of a hole against the San Antonio Spurs? No, I do not want to talk about sports in my last column of my Campus Times career.
Hold on a second. That is it. I remember what I wanted to express in this week’s 750-word rant.
Like I said, this is “my final column,” and since I will not be writing on staff during my senior year(s), I wanted to do something I did not get a chance to do the last time I was a senior — write a senior will.
To give a brief background on the subject, my high school senior will never had a chance to go to print because my school’s newspaper never hit the stands that year. So to make up for lost time, print and space, I am fulfilling my high school wish to leave a senior will.
Disclaimer: The persons, places and things mentioned below are in no specific order, and any sarcasm that may identify an actual individual or event is purely coincidental.
• To the future staffs of the Campus Times, I leave the knowledge of perfect syntax and grammar, including the difference between who and whom.
• To my brother, Ryan, who is a freshman here at the University of La Verne, I leave my grants and scholarships to carry him through his remaining three years. I also would have left my ’92 Nissan Pickup Truck, but he already has received it after the purchase of my ’98 Ford Mustang, which is enough for a column in itself.
• To everyone in the Phi Delta Theta, I leave one final “Ahh yes.” Of course, there is always potential for more.
• To incoming freshmen who will commute and/or park their vehicle on campus, I leave the knowledge to arrive at 8:30 in the morning to find a decent parking spot.
• To the Wilson Library, I leave a blank check to settle any debts I may have established for not returning books within the year they were due.
• To any student aspiring to have his name on the Dean’s List, I leave an alarm clock to wake up on time, the motivation to actually get up when the buzzer goes off, a good breakfast, ironed clothes, an apple to butter up the instructor, a program change form, an appeal form, the required textbooks for the courses, a 100-question scan tron, a blue book, pens, paper and a sharpened No. 2 pencil.
• To the vending machine persons who restock and repair the soda and snack outlets here at ULV, I leave my gratitude for keeping them filled throughout the entire semester.
• To the employees of the Spot, I leave … oh yeah, there were none this semester, unless the contractors and construction workers count.
• To every student who lives on campus or wanted a quick bite from the Spot, I leave hope that the renovation with be complete before the year 2037.
• To the Associated Students Federation Forum, I leave myself to be the Grand Marshall in next year’s Homecoming Parade, that is, if the parade returns.
• To Eric Bishop, who is my instructor, my adviser and my friend, I leave my thanks for being such a positive influence in my life.
• To anyone else whom I left off my will, I leave only a finger pointed in the direction of any scoreboard. If it does not make sense or if one feels like I should have included him, I guess I have left a reason to write a letter to the editor.
• And finally, to next semester’s Editor in Chief of the Campus Times, Araceli Esparza, I leave the reins of running this publication that I called home for the past five semesters. Good luck and, even though I tried to refrain from the Star Wars theme, may the force be with you.
Greg MacDonald, a junior journalism major, is editor in chief of the Campus Times. He can be reached by e-mail at email@example.com.