Often in the middle of the night while trying to sleep I am plagued with weird, random thoughts, rants and observations. I end up obsessing over these stupid thoughts, depriving me of my sleep even longer. With the incessant amount of television, movie and music media I consume daily, these thoughts just wander in my mind and often, I never find an answer.
I will be lying in bed ready for slumber to hit when all of sudden thoughts flutter in like, is it just me, or does James Van Der Beek AKA Dawson of the teen drama ‘Dawson’s Creek’ have an enormous head? No, really, a gigantic, abnormally-sized head, does he need specially made hats or what, and does he know? Plus it seems that every character on Dawson’s Creek is about as interesting as a wheat cracker and their problems are so whiny they should just get rid of everybody, get new characters and just call it “Creek.”
Why does Keanu Reeves think he can act seriously? Does not his acting range from “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” to well OK, he does not have a range of acting. It seems that in every movie he is either saying “dude” or “whoa,” with a dumbfounded look.
I do not know about anyone else but does the idea of Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas together give anybody else the creeps?
Sometimes songs, mostly songs I do not like, begin heavy rotation in my head and I cannot get them out. Last night the song “Crazy For This Girl,” by those super creepy identical twins Evan and Jaron kept playing on and on in my head. How do I even know all the words to that song? Last week it was Jennifer Lopez, oh excuse me, I mean Miss J-Lo’s “Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” Umm, can I see any hands or is it just me, who thinks she really cannot sing? Has anyone heard that part in the song where she sings “a thinnnnggggg” extremely off key, now that’s embarrassing. Speaking of “Everybody’s Love” — Why does J-Lo think she can do everything — act, sing and dance?
Would not a big no-holds-barred all out bar fight between all the boy bands be cool? With the five winners left standing starting their own group combining all the names they could call it, N’98boystown or something like that. Also what about Bon Jovi, who asked them to come back? I sure did not, I wish I would have been consulted because I swear all their new songs sound similar to their old ones. Just listen to “Living on a Prayer” and “It’s My Life” — very similar.
How come Creed’s singer Scott Stapp has a bad case of the mumbles? Does anyone understand the lyrics and why does he always have a Christ-like pose in all of their videos?
Then as the hours pass, and the night goes on, even weirder thoughts that seem to slip out of a vortex drift in. Like how come there was only one female Smurf, Smurfette, yet there was always an ample supply of Smurfs? How did they breed? Maybe I think too much. Also what was it about the Smurfs that made them such a big commodity for Gargamel? I mean he was a warlock if he wanted gold he could have made some really.
The slang term “bling bling” seems to get on my nerves. How can anyone induct it into their daily vocabulary and not sound weird? Like, “Whoa with that watch you are so bling bling.”
As the night becomes the dawn and the thoughts begin to drift out of my head I finally get to have my 40 winks, or 10 winks, if I’m lucky. I quietly think, “Maybe I should have just taken Melatonin.”
Jazmine Ponce, a junior journalism major, is features editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at email@example.com.