Special SectionsThe Pulse (2006)

Horoscope Central: For the months of April and May

photo illustration by Reina Santa Cruz
photo illustration by Reina Santa Cruz

Aries (Mar. 21-April 20): From now on your kindness will lead you to success. The next bum you give a dollar to will really be a millionaire waiting to lavish you with all the money you will ever need. Or…a stranger will smile at you after you hold the door open for him.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Sell your ideas. They have exceptional merit. Or sell your reproductive organs. They, too, are worth a lot.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): You are surrounded by things of luxury. The irony is you are in Nordstrom.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment. What does that even mean?

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): What said today does not always come true tomorrow…especially if you are a liar.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 23): You will be unusually successful in business…kissing other people’s butts.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23): Good health will be yours for a long time…too bad you always jaywalk.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22): You will travel to many places in the world…the bad news is that you will be a fugitive.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21): Others appreciate your expressive qualities…too bad your parents don’t count.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20): It is much wiser to take advice than to give it. And it is even wiser to take a penny than it is to leave it.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Your dearest wish will finally come true…too bad it will happen to someone else.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Your winsome smile will be sure protection. But when was the last time a smile shielded a bullet?

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The Campus Times is the weekly student newspaper for the University of La Verne.

Reina Santa Cruz
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