by Valerie Rojas
Assistant Editor
David Spade, star of such cinematic gems as “Joe Dirt” has managed to miss his mark yet again, with his latest film “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star.”
Spade stars as Roberts, a former child star who spends his afternoons parking cars and his evenings playing poker with Leif Garrett and Dustin Diamond. To score a role in an upcoming Rob Reiner film that will put him back into the public eye, Roberts needs to relive his childhood, something he was never able to experience because of stardom.
Although the premise sounds promising, it is anything but. Aside from a few chuckles here and there, the movie left the audience feeling drowsy and a little upset that they spent $7 on a less than entertaining piece of film. The plot is based on the lives of a handful of washed-up child stars, all of which happen to make cameos in the movie. In fact, the only thing that made paying $7 worthwhile was a song number performed by dozens of over-the-hill stars who hit it big before they hit puberty. Seeing the now 400 pound Corey Haim and hearing “Marcia Brady” sing the F-word, was far more entertaining than Spade’s entire performance in the film.
But Spade is not the only actor who should be held accountable for the downfall of this movie.
The writers are just as responsible, and so are all of the actors that were forced to recite incredibly annoying lines over and over and over again.
The audience can only hear “Stranger Danger” or “it’s nucking futs” so many times before they just want to rip their ears off… or at least leave the theater.
If only there was something positive that could be said about this movie.
If only Spade’s in-depth portrayal of a former child star could be applauded, if only the movie was entertaining…. but alas, no such thing can be said.
So unless you enjoy paying $7 to be bored out of your mind, avoid this film. There is not much to be missed, well… a profane Eve Plumb might be worth it.
