At this moment, I am hearing the calming crash of waves coursing onto the shore.
I am looking over the black rim of my laptop computer and letting nature humbly guide the thoughts I am pouring onto this page.
And all I can feel besides the warm caress of salty air upon my face is gladness that I am alive and well.
I am glad GLAD that I am alive, and yet I am sorry for it has taken me this long to gain this appreciation I should have for life.
It’s strange, however, because this appreciation has only come because of the death of someone in my life.
The Grim Reaper lingers unseen, and even on such a perfect day as this, his harsh reality tampers with my mood.
The calmness around me slowly brings up a memory from the back of my mind.
A friend from my high school years died; he was only 18.
Besides being a magnet for laughter and fun (It was always, “He’ll know what to do to have a good time.”), he was also a target for confused teens who thought it best to shoot his life away in front of his father.
I hadn’t thought about him for years, but one day I flipped on the news, and there he was.
He was coming home from playing at a cyber café, and some people followed him home because he looked a certain way; society had dubbed him a gangster, and he paid for that.
His father watched him die in his arms, but yet my friend’s own son wasn’t even able to say goodbye to him.
And as this hurtful memory fades, anger replaces my peaceful, wistful mood.
Here I am saying how glad I am to be alive, and yet my friend, who was younger and far more needed than I (he was a father) is gone.
Should I be ashamed for all my bouts of self-pity and selfishness? Should I willingly live my days, knowing that many of my loved ones have passed on?
A pause here to consider this. A sudden gust of wind has just produced goose bumps on my arm, and I am now chilled by my own doubtful thoughts.
The answer is of course I will live on, simply because I have finally gained the gift of being able to appreciate what I have.
How blessed I am now to realize how much I should embrace my life.
So many people out there live in a vortex, devoid of appreciation, humbleness and serenity, and I know as much as ever that I too was a part of this.
And so now I pass on my newfound gift to you:
Let me tell you folks, if you know you’re living in a vortex, get out of it now.
If you feel like you’re accomplishing nothing, depressed because you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, then perhaps you should consider changing the lifestyle you live.
I know that taking a one-day pilgrimage to a lone stretch of beach will not be everyone’s solution, but that is besides the point I am trying to reach.
Frankly I don’t know how to solve everyone’s problems. Who does?
All I know at this moment, is that I am experiencing a new sense of purpose, simply because I have finally opened my eyes to what has been placed before me.
Someone thought I was worthy of being on this Earth to accomplish something.
And in reverence to Him, and to all those who have returned to the earth upon which I sit down, I will salute to their memory rejoice in what I have lost, but is now found.
I once lost my belief that everything would ever be all right; I now know that for things to be what I want them to be, I need to make them that way. For things to be all right, I need to actually believe that they will be so.
After all, you can’t depend on other people to make your life a happy place.
So help yourself to this food for thought.
I know that many of you too are lost looking for something, and believe me when I say this – the answer is right there in front of your face.
Jaclyn Roco, a senior journalism major, is editor in chief of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at rocojax@yahoo.com.
