by Matt Paulson
Editor in Chief
The aftermath: A family stands together in awe, silhouetted against what used to be their beloved home, but is now a lifeless pile of ash.
Everything is gone; the devastation is nearly unbearable, but life must go on.
This was the scenario for the thousands of families whose homes were reduced to almost nothing by the recent California wildfires.
They returned to find their memories scorched and their stability uprooted.
Rebuilding must begin soon for many. But before the first sheet of drywall can be hung, victims must recompose emotionally.
“You’re not only losing your house, you’re losing a part of yourself,” said Jo Holder, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena.
Mary Bright, executive chef for Sodexho in Davenport, lost her home in the wildfires. She struggled shortly after the fire with the horrendous images burnt into her subconscious.
“I would wake up and see the picture of the hillside burn,” Bright said.
Holder said that everyone deals with situations like these differently.
It depends strictly on the individual.
“Everybody has a different resilience to stress,” she said.
Bright said work helps her cope.
“Because I do have a job, it has been better,” she said.
Her work life remains unchanged and some stability in such a treacherous time is welcomed.
Her network of people through the University of La Verne and Sodexho has also helped her cope with the loss.
“Work can help contain them, and take their mind off of (the loss),” said Rick Rogers, director of the ULV Counseling Center and associate professor of psychology.
He said those affected by the loss are able to “channel those energies, at least for part of the day, into their work life.”
Holder said that enjoying work, along with not smoking, drinking, getting enough sleep at night, eating a healthy diet and relaxing, lend to a healthier lifestyle, which translates to a healthier psyche.
Bright is also thankful for her dogs, who provide her with the unconditional love one thirsts for in these times.
“Loving support is real important whether it comes from a human or it comes from a pet,” Rogers said. “That support helps ease the pain. It doesn’t take it away, but it helps ease some of the pain.”
Although a rapid recovery is usually a sign of a healthy lifestyle, there is a danger in recovering too quickly.
Psychologically, it is normal to experience a healthy level of distress about the loss. A loss of this magnitude should not be dismissed too hastily.
“I would wonder if they’re in denial,” Holder said.
Those affected could deny the feelings of grief experienced from the fire, but full-fledged denial is impossible.
No one can deny the fact that the fires happened, Rogers said.
“It’s hard to deny the reality of your house not being there anymore,” Rogers said.
Although Bright’s job helps her move on, she said her husband does not have that luxury. He worked out of the home as a photographer and his livelihood was incinerated.
He now is forced to start over, Bright said.
This stage, Holder said, tests the emotional motivation of those affected. She likened the situation faced by the Brights and the many others crippled by the fires to that of the fabled phoenix.
The phoenix periodically burns to death, but from its ashes a new, more beautiful bird is born.
“It may not be as easy as it sounds,” Rogers said. “Some folks, their reality is that they don’t have the financial resources to do that.”
“You always say that you’re life is going to get better,” she said, “But it’s just figuring out right now what move to make, which step to take.”
While Holder says that starting anew is a healthy response, the impact can be devastating for many.
“We really have to figure out where to go,” she said.
