In small towns across the United States, there are corner drug stores, corner markets and corner coffee shops, but only in the country’s second largest city can you find the Coroner’s store “Skeletons In The Closet,” where they are “dying for your business.”
No, I did not place an extra “o” in that word. I mean the Los Angeles County Department of the Coroner the same place they perform autopsies and write death certificates, where you can hear open discussions about people wanting to witness autopsies firsthand.
If you’re ever in the neighborhood, which includes Women’s and Children’s Hospital and Jack in the Box, I suggest you stop by the Coroner’s office and do some early Christmas shopping.
Why, you ask?
Because it supports a wonderful cause (the Youthful Drunk Driver Visitation Program) and it’s just too darn nifty to not check out at least once in your lifetime.
Before you can enter the store, though, you must go to the receptionist and get a visitor parking permit to place in your car and a name badge, so they can keep track of who is in the building.
After being buzzed through the security doors and heading up to the second floor, you will pass by Human Resources (how ironic in a building full of corpses) and into “Skeletons in the Closet.”
I was laughing from the moment I walked in, and the door read, “Shoplifters next-of-kin will be notified” and “Checks accepted with two forms of I.D. or Dental Records.”
Okay, so maybe I’m a bit morbid, but I thought it was really funny.
Just know that your trip to “Skeletons In The Closet” started back in 1993, when the Coroner’s office lost funding for their important Youthful Drunk Driving Visitation Program, which tries to scare participants straight.
They needed a way to fund this program for youth who drive drunk, abuse and other first time offenses, so the savvy department started “Skeletons In The Closet.”
The store includes the typical T-shirts, jackets, mugs and key chains that you can find at any gift shop, but these all have a slightly humorous twist.
The BBQ Apron says “LA Coroner Has Heart” and has two pockets that say “spare hands” and “spare ribs.”
Besides the shirts, clocks and beach towels with the traditional body outline logo, there are also some with “Sherlock Bones,” a skeleton dressed as Sherlock Holmes that one of the wacky detectives invented.
One of the more serious items is the authentic toe tag key chain, which says, “This could be you? Please do not drink and drive,” and can be personalized with up to 14 characters. There is also a T-shirt with a foot wearing a toe tag that has the same message.
If you don’t have time for the drive to Los Angeles, you can become one of the 30,000 people to call (323) 343-0760 for a mail order catalog or visit their online store at www.lacoroner.com.
“Skeletons In The Closet” is open 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. It is located at 1104 North Mission Road in Los Angeles.
Rebecca Cooper, a junior journalism major, is arts and entertainment editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at spoildbeca@aol.com.
