From the first day a college student steps onto campus, they look forward to the day of graduation. This is the day that students work so hard for. This is the final day to recognize all of that hard work.
Like many other ULV students, I have looked forward to graduation for a long time. Not only have I looked forward to the fact of graduating, but I have also looked forward to making my parents proud. In high school I was a bad teenager, always getting in trouble and worrying my parents. I now try to do as much as I can to make them happy and proud. I take pride in the fact that I am the first in my family to graduate from college and I have looked forward to the day that my parents could watch me accept my degree.
Next Saturday, I will accept my degree in journalism after three long years here at La Verne. I must admit, as of now, I really do not care. I still have not decided if I will actually attend the ceremony.
Instead of being excited, I am upset because my mom told me that she will not attend the ceremony. I am not sure if my dad plans to come because I have not talked to him in over a week. All of the excitement of graduating is gone.
This all stemmed from a fight over when to have my graduation party. I wanted it on a Friday and my mom wanted it on a Saturday. If it sounds stupid to you, do not worry because it sounds stupid to me too.
The fight escalated from there and after it was all said and done, I was left feeling like graduation is not as big of a deal as I had thought.
If my mom could blow up at me over such a small detail, just two weeks before my graduation, then how could it be a big deal?
My mom should be so excited for me that she would be willing to throw me a party on any day of the week. She is supposed to be happy for me and celebrate with me, not pick measly little fights. If I decide to walk in the ceremony I will not even have a party with my family and friends afterwards, not even a dinner.
Right now I should be worrying about my finals and my senior project not a stupid fight that I had with my mom. Instead of wanting to finish my work I feel like screwing it all up just to spite my mom and not graduate at all.
This thought has gone through my mind a million times even though I know it would be stupid to throw it all away.
At the end of this column, I was hoping to come to a conclusion on whether or not I would walk in the ceremony. I now realize that this is not the problem.
I know in my heart that my mom did not mean to say that she would not come to my graduation. It was a misguided statement said in anger. I probably said a few things that I should not have.
Now we are in a silent standoff of not wanting to give in and not wanting to be the first to say sorry. I am just as stubborn as she is and knowing that I will not give in, I do not expect her to either.
Still, for the rest of my life I will remember her words. When I think of graduation, I will not think of a happy time, I will think of anger and bitterness. I will think of my mom not sitting in Ortmayer Stadium.
Anger brings out the worst in people and it makes them say things they otherwise would not. You would think that as we get older we would learn to bite our tongues when we have an argument. Unfortunately, as we get older we just learn more hurtful and damaging things to say to each other.
Kelly Serrano, a senior journalism major, is sports editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.