Last week the Illinois state justice system destroyed a family and put a 4-year-old boy into the hands of a stranger. “Baby Richard” was forced to live with his biological father after living with his adopted parents all his young life.
At birth, Richard was given up for adoption by his mother. The father was told that the baby was dead. After 57 days, the father found out the mother had lied and he contested the adoption.
After four years and multiple court battles, the father and mother were granted custody of their son.
Richard had to leave the only family he had ever known. As the tears rolled down his face, he began to beg and plead for his older brother and sister to come with him. They could not, though, and their eyes were filled with tears.
Richard has to learn to love a total stranger, a new family. He will have to call someone else dad, mom, sister and brother.
Nine judges decided to shatter the lives of a family and, most of all, Richard. He was never even given a chance to say how he felt.
Many people feel that the Illinois Supreme Court has done an injustice, and they have, but is it really the Court’s fault. Can you really blame a father for wanting his child? No.
The real problem with this whole situation is the fact that fathers in this country have no say whatsoever in the destination of their unborn child.
It seems that prospective fathers in this country are really nothing more than the providers of material things to a child. Being able to provide diapers, food and housing are the things that make a good father. It is also expected of them as well. If men do not do provide these things, they are usually referred to as dead beat dads.
What if a man wants to be a father and the mother does not want to be a mother? The father cannot do one single thing to stop her actions. When a mother decides to have an abortion or give a child up for adoption, the father is not a factor. His feelings are thrown out the door, as well as his rights.
A father can be arrested for kidnapping if he takes his own child away from its mother.
People have often said that a baby and his mother are bonded in a special way because a woman has carried the child for nine months. That may be true, but fathers can bond with their children too.
Yes, they can.
It seems that they can only bond with them in the yard while tossing a ball around. The most hated type of bonding is the disciplinary role the fathers are usually put into. “Wait until your dad gets home” is a popular phrase used by the mothers of America.
Great. Make children view their fathers as a meanie. If mothers are the ultimate parent and the most in touch with the children, why are they not responsible or expected to provide heavily for a child?
There are, however, men in this world who will not own up to fatherhood. Some just do not care. The relationship between the mother and father may not be the best and that often gets in the way of the welfare of the baby.
On any given day a person can walk into a welfare office and see a handful of young men and women trying to hold a family together. Although welfare is not the best means of supporting a family, it is a start and credit should be given to the couple for being there and not giving up responsibility.
Believe it or not, there are still men out there who want to be good fathers. I do not think that a woman should be the only one who has a say in whether a child is born or given up for adoption. Although raising a child is a great challenge, it is also an experience unparallel to any other.
The laws of this country clearly favor the women. The life of a child should be put into the hands of both the mother and the father. The courts should not have to be the ones to place a child in the proper home.
