It is amazing how much people can learn about themselves by the way they drive.
Once, I was on my way to work in my car when I had somewhat of a strange realization.
It was a nice day out, birds were chirping and I was driving with the reckless abandon that often takes over when I am sitting behind the wheel of a car.
After about five minutes of passing cars and cutting off people I do not know at top speeds on quiet Bonita Avenue, something caused me to slow down.
The guy in front of me refused to accelerate his vehicle or get out of my way, so I was faced with the obligation to pass him on the left. However, when I tried to change lanes to go around him I noticed this little, old man driving a tiny, green Geo Metro almost parallel to me in the next lane. Aggravated by my apparent inability to move any faster, I began to throw glaring looks at this defenseless old man who just smiled and kept driving.
Finally, after a few more moments of immobility, I passed the guy in front of me and proceeded on my way to work, weaving in and out of traffic and passing all other vehicles in my way. About five minutes later, with the assumption that I had left the old man miles behind me, I was forced to stop at a red light. However, when I glanced to the left of me the old man was there again, in the same lane he’d just been in minutes earlier. I thought I’d left him in a dusty oblivion.
I couldn’t believe it! There I was, driving as fast as I could to get to my destination, and this guy who looked like he was just putzing along without a care in the world ended up right beside me, without even having exerted a single illegal driving effort.
Driving slower, I pondered this thought. It wasn’t like I was in an immediate hurry to get to work or anything. In fact, that day I was surprisingly early, besides the fact that I despise my job. So what was it that compelled me to speed when I wasn’t even in a hurry? I was in distress over this thought.
I began to think of other things I do on a daily basis that put me in “hurry mode.” I seem to have always lived my life in a state of mad disarray. I drive too fast, I stay up too late at night, I procrastinate; it’s like I’m always on the edge and just barely making it by the skin of my teeth. It is as if I am always looking for something, going somewhere, but when I think about it, I don’t know where or why.
Maybe pushing myself to the limit is a game I play to see how far I can go or how close I can come to failure. Perhaps I am in such constant unrest that I am always afraid I am going to miss an opportunity if it comes because I was doing all of the things I was supposed to be doing, like taking my time.
I keep thinking about the old man. I realize now that the only reason I glared at him was because I was envious of his seemingly peaceful state of mind.
I wonder how many more people are just like me, in constant search for their own peace. I wonder how many do not even know what they are searching for. Even people like Susan Smith, Tim McVeigh or O.J. Simpson—were they just searching too? Despite what they did, could we all be, in some small way, just like them?
I believe that the answer to finding our own individual peace lies deep within the souls of every one of us. We may not find it in procrastination, or alcoholic oblivion; we may not find it painting rocks or driving fast, but we can find it inside.
It took a little old man in a little green car for me to realize that if I just slow down I will discover what has always been right there for me to see.
As for the old man driving a Geo Metro somewhere out there in oblivion, I hope you always keep the courage to stay in your lane.
