Call me sentimental, but there was a time when people were valued for their accomplishments. Old fashioned metrics like strength, intelligence and skill were important. What is the measure of any man or woman today? It only seems to matter how “nice” one is.
Those who pursue their own interests, are capable and successful, are afforded no respect or regard if they are not perceived as “nice.” Go to a funeral, and what seems to matter most is how nice the person was. How selfless.
Why is this such a great thing?
Someone could accomplish nothing, not actually do anything useful for themselves or anyone else, but be honored because they avoided saying anything offensive.
Only in this, the Age of the Victim, are the selfless, the sacrificing and the directionless afforded such esteem.
But, I know, that’s not a very nice thing to say.
Aren’t there other qualities one should be remembered for?
My own standards have evolved and shifted as I have. Societal clichés informed me of the obvious lessons as a child. To go beyond the superficial to something more meaningful.
Sure it’s judgmental to look for certain qualities in people, but it’s a natural imperative everyone follows, so why not try to shape it with some logic.
My earliest criterion, as a young child, was that intelligence mattered most. This seemed an enlightened approach as an 8 year old. It didn’t take long to realize that there are plenty of smart people who were also useless idiots.
So, for a time, I adopted the prevailing attitude, and thought being “nice” was the pinnacle of actualized humanity. That didn’t last long either. Too many smarmy nice-niks are wolves in sheep’s clothing. There is nothing wrong with being a wolf, but stupid is the wolf that actually believes itself to be a sheep. The ascension of the “nice” is really the rise of passive aggressive behavior in our culture. Instead of honestly pursuing what we want, we deceive others and ourselves by couching everything in non-assertive language. The net result is a world of bitter, unsatisfied people.
Nice is deceitful. Nice is fake. Nice is buying dinner for your date then being churned when she doesn’t put out.
In a sentimental gesture, I decided to look for honesty in those around me, but King Arthur had an easier quest than that.
As my internal pendulum swung into the politically unfavorable realm of Social Darwinism the realization came that some things, in fact, could be taken at face value. Not oversimplified, but also not abstracted beyond meaning. With a solid intuitive base, sometimes you really can judge a book by its cover.
But this is inconsistent. How often has that lust-inspiring person you decided to approach become entirely unattractive after one minute of conversation, while an average-looking individual can sometimes transform into the embodiment of sex appeal after a short conversation.
Next was Imagination. Then humility. The most confident people are often the most humble because they are not out to prove anything. They can admit their limitations, and that maybe, just maybe, they are wrong about everything.
Of course it’s too simple to think there is one quality that defines the measure of any man or woman. Although I skew toward the misanthropic for the species as a whole, I enjoy almost every individual. And all I really care about today is the ability to laugh. To find the humor in everything, especially ourselves. And that takes confidence, imagination, humility and more.
In the end, isn’t laughter the most honest response to the human condition?
Kenneth Todd Ruiz, a senior journalism major, is editor in chief of the Campus Times. He can be reached by e-mail at kruiz@ulv.edu.
