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Self-realization comes from experience

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Jaclyn Roco, Editor in Chief

Jaclyn Roco, Editor in Chief

It’s 9 p.m., and the Arts and Communications Building will close in an hour.

And here I am, alone yet again, slaving away at the million and one things I have to do before the lights shut off, and the doors are locked.

I find myself saddened at the thought that this may be the last night I will sit here, worrying over all the trivial newspaper things that have burdened me for the past two years.

Although the nights have been rather lonely, I have enjoyed the solitude, knowing that I was getting things out of the way only to prepare for the onslaught of assignments ready to hit me the next week.

None of you will ever know how hard it was for me to live up to the tradition that this newspaper has provided for our student body since 1919.

I handled the role of editor-in-chief rather seriously and tried to live up to the professional standards that I knew everyone expected from me.

I tried to be what everyone else wanted me to be, but in the end, I was actually able to find myself, and I am thankful for the fact that I have finally been able to do so.

Strangely enough, I was able to get to know myself ­ who I am and what I want ­ through these weekly pep talks I’ve been having with you.

I never knew how stimulating it could be to actually spill my guts out, until I actually tried to do so through my columns.

Many of you got to know me ­ I was no longer just an editor of a newspaper you read, I was somebody that you were able to associate with, or so I gather from those who have approached me.

Whether it was through my political, sad or honest stories, I don’t know, but many of you actually complimented me on saying things that were sometimes thought best left unsaid.

Some of you have even gone through the lengths of seeking me out in person and saying, “I totally understood you.” or “I really liked your column.”

And even though I sometimes forgot what you were referring to, I nodded happily because you had actually cared enough to read something I had put a 110 percent effort into.

I was even happier when some of you had confessed to crying to the things I had written especially for you. (I think I’d rather have people cry over the sad things then laugh over something I had written that wasn’t meant to be funny.)

Balancing the busy role of editor-in-chief, along with handling 17 units, wasn’t easy, but I find that the experience, although a challenge, was well worth it, and will always be so.

I see how much I have grown from an uncertain, shy individual to someone who has blossomed into an assured woman (or at least I try to seem like one) who will continue to give it all she has until she will be laid in the dark.

I sincerely tried my best, and I hope you are satisfied with the accomplishments I have provided for you.

Whether it was delivering papers along with a fellow staff member at 6:30 a.m. on Fridays, correcting at least 20 pages of copy per week, calling three to four sources every couple or so days and bantering jokingly over my political reasoning with some of the faculty ­ I hope that I have given most of you a glimpse into what it is to be editor of a proud newspaper ­ the longest institution of ULV. (Although I know many disagreed with some of the things I wrote, you have to give me credit for finishing something every week for you to argue about.)

But most of all, I would like to give due credit to all of the people who have helped me reach the end of my trek of finding myself ­ to my fellow editors who made me want to live for them, to my professors who made me want to give some more for them, to my writers who made me want to try more for them and to my readers who made me want to give my all to them.

As the minute hand on the clock ticks 30 seconds to 10 p.m., I fondly end my last talk with you with a last good night, for it will never be a last goodbye from me to you.

Jaclyn Roco, a senior journalism major, is editor in chief of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at rocojax@yahoo.com.

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