I am not even exactly sure how it happened. I just strolled into the big, impressive building to take a look around. I was not sure what I wanted, but I was pretty convinced that I did not want anything to tie me down for the next five to six years.
But somehow, I managed to walk out with my name on a contract and an agreement to shovel out $265 every month to a group of middle-aged men in business suits…for the next five years.
I am now the owner of a 2003 Ford Focus, retail priced at more than $15,000. The fact that I am in charge of paying off that price tag scares the begeezus out of me.
And what’s even scarier is the insurance bill. Along with my monthly car payment, I am required to fork over another $300 just to make sure nothing happens to my new set of wheels.
Now, all of this seems fine and dandy. Kids like cars. They mean freedom. They mean independence.
But when I look at my sparkly little silver four-door, I see none of these things. I see commitment. I see the fact that no matter how much I hate waking up early on a Saturday to go sell bracelets or pierce ears, I cannot afford to sleep in. For the first time since I was hired, I now need my job.
I need to watch every penny I spend. I need to decide if I can really afford a new CD here and there, a show every other weekend or a crate of Dr. Pepper in my refrigerator. I now have to be (gasp!) responsible.
I have my own car payment. I am finally a big kid.
So, this is the part where I freak out and all the worrying begins.
What if I do not make my payments on time? What if making my payments on time means missing out on all the fun things in life, like food and shelter? What if I lose my job? Then I lose my car, my excellent credit history, and any chance at having a future free from the lurking calls of the bill collector agencies.
I have spent the last few evenings laying in my bed thinking about all of these crazy what-ifs.
These fears are on my mind constantly, both in and out of class. They have become my latest distraction and have probably been annoying all my friends just as much as they have been annoying me.
I just got the car and already I want to throw in the towel. I am ready to leave a note on the windshield, park the car in front of the dealership, change my identity and move far, far away to a town free from the hassles of five-year contracts and finance plans.
Alright, so maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself here. I have yet to make my first car payment. I am still counting down the days until it is due.
Maybe it will not be as hard as I am making it seem. I mean, other kids do it all the time, right?
Well, whether they do, it really does not affect me. I still have to hand over a large amount of each paycheck I get my hands on, just so I can be able to make it to the work that allows me to pay for the transportation that gets me to this job that I cannot stand in the first place.
Maybe I worry too much. What I need is a good, long drive to escape all of this headache and financial stress.
Oh never mind.
I just remembered those irritatingly high gas prices. Oh well…
Valerie Rojas, a sophomore journalism major, is Arts editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at skalivornia@hotmail.com.
