Appearance is rarely, if ever, everything; yet it is what we most often turn to for our first evaluation of the people we meet or the situations we come across.
Although we are quick to deny having any prejudices because of the way people look, dress or walk through life, we are lying to ourselves.
It’s definitely a start, though, to trick ourselves this way, as long as it doesn’t obstruct our growth into individuals who really do just look past the exterior.
Is it possible to accomplish this feat? Things would be much more genuine if we at least gave it a good effort to look past appearances.
Love would last a lot longer – or be given a chance to even begin. Overweight individuals would make the choice to have gastric bypass surgery for health reasons and not because they are tired of strangers’ averted glances. Great minds of science, arts and politics would be celebrated not for their ability to look good for a television interview but for their contributions to the betterment of our world.
These thoughts came to me the other day when I caught myself evaluating how I was responding to a situation. These are some of the most educational sessions I conduct inside my head because it helps me understand how I relate to the world.
Each weekend, as a volunteer with a pet adoption mobile unit, I find myself talking with some of the most interesting people.
Because the conversations focus on the humane treatment of dogs, cats and other sentient beings (my favorite topic), I am usually so keen on feedback that I do not need to fall back on judging based on appearances. I’m looking, instead, for people who speak with compassion and open minds – determinants, in my opinion, of good people.
Although many people use the way they dress to express their personalities, it should in no way become a determining factor in others’ conclusions about whom these people really are inside.
We are taught to be observant, to evaluate situations before acting. However, I would challenge everyone to not only observe at a safe distance, but also interact and build a real foundation for your opinions. I don’t find this very easy either, but I think it would work to ward off unnecessary, and often harmful, misjudgment.
A straight-laced man in a business suit or a guy with dreadlocks who is partial to piercings really doesn’t make a difference. Do they find the need to protect animal welfare? If a person donning tattoos as if they were shirtsleeves wants to talk about rescuing an abused dog, I am all-ears.
It’s incredible, to me, how removing the judgment of appearance liberates us into much more truthful relationships with others.
Most of the time, if you just listen to a person, you can determine if this is a person you can respect for their ideas, values and lifestyle. After all, these are the only prejudices we should allow ourselves to feel toward others.
Does this person, given his or her circumstances in life, want to make this a more safe, productive and peaceful place to live? When I catch myself making predeterminations about a person, I stop myself short. As other animal lovers have showed me without even knowing it, the important aspects in understanding people’s character lies in what they say and do and not in how they appear.
Bailey Porter, a junior journalism major, is managing editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at porterb@ulv.edu.
