Remember the days when life was simple and when we all wanted to be a singer like Janet Jackson or Madonna? Over the years, reality hit, and we realized that singing required talent and time.
If only we can get those simple days back.
Like a lot of girls growing up in the 1980s, I wanted to be like one of those famous singers. But as time went on, my future professional goals changed as I found new interests.
In elementary school, I wanted to be a judge or a lawyer.
In middle school, my dream job was to be a school teacher. Oddly enough, during my freshman year of high school, I had no intentions to go to college, but I now chuckle and wonder what was going through my head.
After that phase was over, I decided I wanted to be a television entertainment reporter.
I wanted to be on the red carpet interviewing celebrities. My dream was to interview Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thus, my interest in journalism was born.
Over January, I took a class in advanced news reporting for my major, which required me to write two or more in-depth articles per week.
It was an intense month with me staying up late almost every night, finishing a story and talking to sources everyday.
Halfway through the course, I asked myself if this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
The only answer I could come up with was no.
I could not and do not see journalism as a steady financial and emotional supporter.
My parents have always told me that I should choose a career that satisfies me and makes me happy. Writing used to make me happy, but I see my future in it as dismal.
The question I used to think was simple to answer now seems so complex.
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
A year ago I would have given my spiel of going to graduate school, working at a major newspaper, working in public relations and eventually teaching at a university.
It is only an uncertain idea now.
I do not know what made me change my mind, but I know that I do not see myself doing anything else because this is the only thing I can do.
During my internship at the Los Angeles Times two summers ago, I learned that to write good journalism, you have to love it because you are not in it for the money. Little pay and long hours do not allow for the small luxuries of a comfortable life.
How can I be a journalist when I do not feel what I write; I do not have that love?
Without that love how can I do this for the rest of my life?
How can I do this for the next 20 to 30 years?
What I am most afraid of is graduating and not having a direction.
The uncertainty I face scares me. It makes me feel like the college years I spent learning and writing were pointless.
All this might seem like something I should not be worrying about, but I am a person that likes to plan things as much as time lets me.
Slowly I am realizing that time goes on whether I want it to or not.
I guess it is a part of life to question what you are going to do for the rest of your life. After all, the average college student does change his/her major seven times.
I just never thought that I would be the one to doubt my future plans.
After two years of taking journalism classes, there is no way that I can change my major.
If I did, then two years of my life would be wasted, and I would have to start over with another major.
I will stick with journalism only because it is the one thing I know how to do.
I do admit that journalism has allowed me to learn about issues like the U.S. economy and our prospect of war.
Most importantly I have learned about myself, and who I have become.
I wish I could go back to the days when time meant recess, lunch and cartoons rather than meaning the rest of my life.
Gloria Diaz, a sophomore journalism major, is managing editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at btls60s@att.net.
