Attending the University of La Verne has always been an honor for both the proud students who live on campus and those who make the daily drive to this tiny campus. But like most universities, ULV is not without its flaws.
One of the most ridiculous problems currently plaguing students on this campus is not the higher tuition or lack of sports teams. ULV students face the same dilemma every day when they arrive on campus just minutes before their first class. The same question lingers in their minds.
Where on Earth can I park my car?
You see, ULV is without adequate parking facilities. The problem is easy to understand. There are too many cars and not enough spaces available. But worry no more. We at the Campus Times have compiled a sure-fire list of 10 suggestions that are guaranteed to bring an end to our parking crisis, if any daring University official chooses to implement them.
The top 10 ways to improve the parking at ULV:
10. Start parking on the volleyball court. After all, the men’s team won’t be using it anymore.
9. Any suddenly displaced Athens students who call this campus their second home can be put to work. They have to find a way to earn their stay here. And we could definitely use a few valet attendants. Problem solved.
8. While we’re at it, aren’t there tons of parking spaces not being used on the Athens campus now, anyway? They should send those puppies over here. We could definitely put them to good use.
7. Start another Core class. Sure, it seems we have our fill already, but why not start another community service class? Each student could be required to spend a specific number of hours a week driving the poor parking space-less cars around the community until their owners’ classes adjourn.
6. Ever notice how wide those parking spaces are just outside of Stu-Han? And what about those extra wide spaces on B Street? Let’s make those just a bit more narrow, shall we? Not only will this give us more parking spaces, but it will encourage drivers to purchase smaller automobiles. This solution not only aids ULV in our quest for more parking, but helps to save the environment. All in all, making the world a better place.
5. How many freshmen really need cars their first year of college? Absolutely zero. First year students can walk everywhere. They are young and full of energy. They can do it. Those with seniority, worn down by the rigors of years of higher education, can claim the parking spaces they rightfully deserve.
4. Offer tuition discounts to students who ride bikes to school – but let’s make sure the bikes are not stolen.
3. Build a parking garage. A few stories high will be just fine and all of our parking needs would be met. And if the city has a problem with the eyesore, let’s try underground parking garages.
2. With a record-breaking enrollment this year, ULV has a few extra bucks from tuition payments. Why not use this money to better our parking situation with a cutting edge on-campus public transit system? Let’s buy a trolley to ferry students from the Oaks to Woody Hall so they don’t have to drive there anymore.
1. And the number one way to improve parking at ULV: Use the money for monster trucks. Give them away as a scholarship prize and a few lucky students can demolish the crowds and claim a space just outside of Woody Hall.
Violá!
Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the Campus Times Editorial Board.
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